“It was nice growing up with someone like you – someone to lean on, someone to count on…someone to tell on!”
1) When a Child Cannot Cope With His Internal Desires
What happens when a child’s conscience is sleeping, long forgotten? Conscience helps to cope with our internal harmful desires. When all that a child knew throughout his life is orders and expectations to behave a certain way – he loses self-control and the skill to judge what is good and what is bad by himself. Every child must have, and I cannot stress it enough, the abundance of unconditional love and understanding. Through this rejuvenating feeling he learns about all good and bad things in life.
Read more: Trust the Child’s Nature: 3 Rules That Will Help You to Understand the Catechism of Parenting
2) When You See a Falsely Obedient Children
You have seen examples of falsely obedient children. They behave as expected when they are at home, trying to eliminate any conflicts with their parents and siblings. And as soon as they leave home they try everything as if they are rebelling. When grown-up, some may end up drug addicts, others can find pleasures in uncontrolled sexual behavior, and some individuals are not able to say ‘no’ to a tasty high-calorie snack and end up overweight. They hate themselves for the weakness they have no strength to fight.
The lack of true love at home when they were kids, made them uncertain if this feeling existed. This doubt is damaging beyond any degree. A person that is uncertain if sincere affection, compassion, and love are present in his life – is actually uncertain in anything, including himself.
Read more: How to Bring up a Resolute Strong Character: 3 Parenting Principles That Will Help You to Build Confidence in Your Child
3) When a Child Has the Lack of Personal Identity
The reason for all of the described above is the lack of personal identity. Let your child experience life. Be close by to explain and lead by example instead of forcing him blindly to follow your instructions just because you think this is right and that is wrong. These little adventurers need to experiment early on and learn how to live in peace with their consciousness.
Take time to explain things they are interested in and things you think important for them to understand. You will find that repeating the same thing is quite annoying, be patient – you will be rewarded for your loving effort.
Read more: How to Live in Harmony With Yourself and Your Child: 4 Major Rules That Will Help You Be a Better Parent
Read more in my book
When a four-year-old feels discomfort when making the blunder of breaking a toy he took forcefully from a smaller child – he wouldn’t do that again not because it disappointed you, but because he felt ashamed and saw the tears of another little child. Do not be cross, explain the meaning of tears on another child’s face.
You know that life is not all about joy and pleasure. They need to learn that as well with your help and support. Let them fly but keep your arms always ready to catch them if they fall, to embrace them and treat their wounds.