In a field of battle with regret you must either slay or be slain.
Out of Heart
D. was out of humor and out of heart. It has been almost 2 years now, but his grief grew fast and furious with every succeeding year. His wife died from heart failure. Miraculously, they were at the stop sign when it happened, the horn of a car announced the death. Her innocent and pathetic face was radiant with the new happiness. D. couldn’t help wondering how she could be so glad to leave him alone. Sitting on a front passenger seat he unconsciously called to mind a portrait he saw in a gallery some years ago. The painter neglected the background, reserving all the magic of his brush for the quiet happy face of a woman. His wife at that moment looked just like her, as if she had caught the golden glory of heaven on her countenance.
The existence of conscience makes the claws of regret sharp. And the stronger one the deeper the other can penetrate a sensitive flesh. The depressing influence of this feeling creates the sensation of a jail in a living body. This emotion casts a grim look about life. The damp atmosphere that regret creates is suffocating. We need to learn how to dispel the smog from the past and at the same time to keep out hearts from being dried -up.
1) No Need to Dwell on It
She felt discomfort in her chest for a few weeks prior to the terrible culmination on that day. D. mentioned to her several times that she needed to see a doctor. He blamed himself for a lack of persistence. And the regret he felt had a sensation of almost maternal protection. Its watchful eye never left his side. It didn’t let his mind to wander elsewhere. Some days he could feel the throbbing of her heart, as if she was pressed in affectionate embrace close to his chest, those days were worse than others.
The catastrophes of previous days can darken with a shade of remorse the future ones. Some deeds are done impetuously, others are out of our control. To weather those storms of life and not to be worn out is the actual purpose of their existence. There is no way to change what’s done, so no need to stamp life with the print of past adversities.
2) Give a New Turn to Your Thoughts
He would do impossibilities to bring her back. He owed his happiness to her, and when she was gone – it felt like an explosion. And he could not pick up the fragments with all the care of an antiquary he applied. He became stifle. His mind and soul were on fire, and that blaze seemed to gleam from hell. There was no space left for new emotions. That dark, evening power that dominated in D.’s life had some magnetic energy that attracted empathetic people. He often was behindhanded with his work, but his senior manager closed her eyes on every mismatch in his schedule.
To be more ardent, more eloquent, more entrancing is a process of growth that often goes hand in hand with ill luck and pain. But for the sake of a happy life the past should be respected and thought over every now and then. Those experiences are tombstones that keep the castle of any unique personality firm and steady. In the enormous mileage of the past everything is a blessing. Tears poured over some broken expectations should teach a lesson of breathing through the pain and moving with a renewed and reskilled hope.
Read more: The Poison of Detracting Tongues or How to Live by Your Own Judgements: 4 Major ‘Why-s’ to Consider
3) Let the Past Be Your Capital
The tension was growing. There are some ways of looking at you that seem to penetrate your soul. D. looked at people and made them feel as though they had nothing on. That irritated a lot and captivated many. After all, that sorrow he endured gave him that Renaissance’s ‘Romeo’ flavor. And his gloomy voice could talk the language of enigmatic gallantry of that time.
Limbs should remember the moves that were wrong so that the repetition of those is impossible. That knowledge is a capital that serves for good. The treasures of the previous days should be collected in a safe place and scrutinized in a moment of hard decisions. That knowledge would be able to help taking the right turn in the right moment in the future.
4) Bring a Positive Outcome
D. could not see the outpouring lava of affection that he excited. The lady-boss at work was on fire, like a human volcano she loved with the fierce of unchained nature but that feeling unsatisfied could as easily go to its sudden cessation. She was a woman and needed happy feelings to accompany her days. D. was a different person after 8 years marriage and 2 years mourning. His senses were wrapped in perfect understanding of woman’s nature, he only needed to cast an unblinded eye at the world around.
No one is the same person as he used to be a regretful moment ago. Now ideas that otherwise would not be entertained are generated in one’s mind. Various pieces of information assemble the personality and it just happens so that misfortunes give a more positive outcome in terms of helpful life tools than merry experiences could have done.
5) Revert the Importance
D. gazed about him with a saddened eye paying attention to the dim side of life. That desire to expand every misfortune in daily life and minimize the impact of many little jolly things was roasting him alive. D. needed thunder and lightning to wake him up and transform that death-like, sepulchral look into his regular prior-to-the-fatal-day features.
With that baggage from the past, one can go far or stay unmoved. Everyone decides for himself. The suitcases should be packed wisely. If there are useful instruments and none of any other unnecessary stuff like all kinds of sad and heavy feelings as regret and the like – the step is light, and the passage is easy. Life is cooler when sometimes less weight is given to the important and more value devoted to the trifling little jolly things. So, in other words, performing a blah with sarcastic importance and taking important for a mumbo-jumbo is quite a good key to a lighter step in life.
6) Fill in the Space
D.’s heart finally spoke to him and he happened to take to it. The blow of losing a job served as a curing disaster that shook his essence. When enough time was given to self-wandering, he realized that there were still pages in his life book that he had not read. Volumes of explanation would not have been needed, we women can understand at a word, and that word was love. The space in his heart that used to be filled with agony was emptied and a current of life-giving feelings refilled it.
Trudging timidly through life is a punishment that one inflicts on himself when consciously dwells on the past with disappointment in mind. Sad experience leaves an empty space in life that needs to be filled in. Bad or good replacement is the choice one makes.
Their mutual happiness was so unanimous. It seemed as if all the voices in their life spoke of love. D. and his wife moved to a different state after their marriage. D. does not have greedy teeth for blessings but always remembers to be grateful for every little merry moment, that is why life is good-natured to him now. Happiness is the poetry spoken in a woman’s voice. He had his second chance to hear the poem of his life and he didn’t miss the opportunity to condemn himself to delicious sounds.
Arm-wrestling with the past is an exhausting and worthless process. A positive view on days-by-gone creates a profusion of loving energy that motivates a person in his life. Occurrence in the past, bad or good, is a wonderful lesson that builds personality. Everyone is unique because every experience is individual. The way one interprets it determines success or failure in life. There is no way to change the past but altering attitude towards it is magical.
Bright and nice always wins over cold and unkind.
The sun comes out eventually and clouds dissipate – it is the law of life.