“There can be no disparity in marriage like unsuitability of mind and purpose.”
– Charles Dickens (“David Copperfield”)
1) Start Every Encounter With 100% Effort
There is no such thing as “give-me-and-I-give-you” relationships. Start every encounter with 100% effort to do the best you can for the other party and that will transform your life. That desire to own someone completely settled in every heart. And from there this unruly longing puts together selfish schemes. It puts ‘must-s’, ‘has to-s’, ‘should –s’ in your way, so that you only give if you know that you will get something back. Stop thinking that the other person must, has to and should do this and that for you, because You did a good deed. Let your left hand create unconditional kindness and do not let the right one know about it.
Read more: Wave Negativity Away and Welcome a Happy Family Spirit into Your Life: 4 Trusty Guides to the Successful Union
2) Do Not Expect Any Payback
Either from that person or in any other form you will get twice as much. The universal law of boomerang doesn’t make mistakes. It regains more speed and comes back with much more force, good or bad – you decide. The same law governs the “country of two people”. If both of you give 100% of your love, care, attention, understanding, respect – you can get a hold of happiness.
3) When You Put Into Force the Power of Devotion and Unconditional Love
When you take the person beside you as a gift to you and you relish this gift with care and admiration; when you consider that person your soulmate, the one that is going to be always with you no matter what, in good or bad – then you will get what you expect. But if you ponder your relationships as something “not-for-ever”, “today-here-tomorrow-not”, and take it for granted – you also get exactly what you expect.
George Eliot expressed the significance of this union like no other: “What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel they are joined for life – to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.”
Read more: My Schedule Is Happiness: How Positive Thinking Boosts Your Health and Improves Your Life
4) When an Essential Ingredient for Your Happiness Is Missing
Some people tend to anticipate a change to the worse in their partner and prepare themselves for it. This attitude serves as a protective mechanism: “When it happens – I will be ready, and it won’t be so painful, so I better love him/her less.” In this case an essential ingredient for your happiness is missing: the ultimate trust and belief in you both.
Read more in my book
Think about it for a moment: your kids will love you – yes, but they will have their own lives with their own spouses and children. You need someone who will be with you forever. Someone who won’t care how your looks change, as you get just more beautiful with the years going by, accumulating wonders inside.
To grow together, to prosper, share ups and downs, support each other every step of the way… Don’t you want that to be your reality? Let it be. Be ready to give 100% of yourself to a loved one.
“Our most basic instinct is not for survival but for family. Most of us would give our own life for the survival of a family member, yet we lead out daily life too often as if we take our family for granted.”
– Paul Pearsall
Don’t take it for granted. Say thank you every day and not just once.