Intensely Healing Feeling of Self-Compassion


“Take the misery of negative self-judgment in a luxuriously calm refuge-island of self-compassion…”


It is difficult to assign any precise age to V. His eye alight with certain native intelligence, making him a fair example of the erudite class. His mission in life is to draw little audible links, chaining together great inaudible feelings of self-compassion and self-esteem. V’s Ph.D. dissertation on this subject is but the vague shadow of the volumes he has to say. This mental activity was instigated by an economic crisis in his life and a complete change of life views and values that followed it. When V. falls into a train of observations on this topic, I feel how it absorbs my fancy.

Read more: Painful Loss Should Be Incapable of Flooring You: 4 Techniques to Eliminate Suffering

[the_ad id=”4439″]

Self-compassion makes you move forward through stormy seas of negative self-judgment. Like a ship, it wallows along to the island of tranquil and comfortable repose. Being kind to yourself means to stop the arduous and exhilarating process of idle and erratic life-cycle. To learn the art of positive self-evaluation is essential.

Become a fair judge of your own weaknesses and a virtuoso in the art of self-admiration. To feel unique and special, you need to be resourceful in finding inner instruments to make yourself believe in it. Call your faults your own and keep it private, insistently sound in your ears your inner and outer graces, make them an emblem, your trademark – known and accepted by others.

Self-compassion is an irradiation personified, which lights up your entire being with positive emotions. It represents all the vast conscious world of contentment because it soothes the troubled spirits.

1) Scientists Map the Advantages of Self-Compassion

When V. was in his last year in the human development doctoral program at the University of California, he was going through a very difficult time. He used to be a person of dazzling interest and attraction when he possessed the means to wish and fancy, to obtain and secure everything he desired.

A climax of his life was pending. His father lost every dollar they had in a risky market deal. Now his passions went ringing home unsatisfied, and he could not find any sympathetic response in his surroundings. Prejudice and discrimination were the downsides of his high self-esteem and harsh self-criticism. Feeling the drag of a lean and narrow life of anxiety and depression that followed that financial devastation, V. suffered from fits of narcissistic, self-absorbing anger.

Read more: Rejoice in Positive Solitude and Administer Over Distractive Loneliness: 6 Kinds of Loneliness and 3 Ways to Confront It

[the_ad id=”4437″]

The first note of compassion washes away anxiety. It was suggested by the science that self-compassion slows down the heart rate and the oxytocin (the bonding hormone) is secreted, it lights up regions of the brain linked to empathy, pleasure, and caregiving. Self-compassion serves as a spiritual aid that floors depression and raises a person’s self-esteem a good deal higher.

2) Self-Kindness Punctuates Life with Self-Understanding

V. was an excellent student of a great educational establishment and a bad pupil of the school of life. He considered his youthful energies mis-spent, and all priceless treasured lavished. V. was poorly equipped to live frugally and happily, rather he was prone to make up in negative judgmental feelings what he lacked in dollar bills.

V. used to be a typical ‘mazhor’ (a kid of wealthy parents). He snapped his fingers and had everything he wished. When his family’s money vanished, he entered the narcotic state of self-denial. V. simply lost his place in the world, thinking that material positions were the only means of determining it.

Three months in a rehabilitation clinic draw a straight line between his past and his present. V. learned all over again to establish contact with people, their engaging characters and charismas, when prior, he labeled any new acquaintance either as a ‘valuable’ or ‘useless’ connection.

Read more: Worry & Anxiety – the Instruments of Our Own Destruction: 6 Ways to Push Them out of Your Life

[the_ad id=”4435″]

Self-compassion eludes good intentions and satisfies those by self-kindness and sympathy to others. It murmurs to your essence that virtually you have a system of values and you respect yourself for it. It tells you that you are not a loose thinker and you can evaluate people and situations from the point of understanding and justification. It tells you to resist the temptation to harshly criticize and judge yourself and others.

3) Self-Compassion Is Marked by Benefits of Self-Esteem Without Its Drawbacks

V. plunged into the healing process by accepting the notion that self-criticism made dread and awe creep upon him. V. started by being cheap enough in regrets, doubts, and self-bitterness and added to his life the rich touch of self-understanding, -acceptance, and -praise.

Self-acceptance gave him power enough to open his heart to the ability to dream gloriously over future and he spared neither effort nor determination to make himself a better person not by beating himself up all the time but by being kind to himself, and… to others.

Read more: Gratitude Makes Us Absolutely and Fearlessly Alive: 6 Admirable Ways to Be Joyously Tranquil

The neat calligraphy of self-compassion lacks mistakes that quick-fingered self-criticism, a product of high self-esteem, always makes. We all have misprints, but comparing ourselves to others rarely does any good. Embrace yourself for the things you have to share rather than for the things you have to keep and the mess up game will be sensibly diminished if not wholly lapsed.

Remember that self-compassion may still carry in its pocket some of the small change of failure, but it holds to it just to make you accountable and toned, ready to get up again and move, once knocked out by some challenge.

4) Self-Compassion Prevents Criticism from Holding Back Your Personal Growth

V.’s state was one of the loneliness and forsakenness which struck a deep chord in his soul. He was determined not to let his few supports float away from him. Those load-bearing walls were empathy, caregiving, and a feeling of self-compassion.

He needed to add more happiness, optimism, and positive emotions to his life to be able to find new friends, ready to accept him with the whole fabric of his timid personality and teach him to understand the keener pleasures of life without an abundance of money.

Read more: Wave Negativity Away and Welcome a Happy Family Spirit into Your Life: 4 Trusty Guides to the Successful Union

Self-compassion grants you with the ability to follow the text of life and read between the lines. The full potential in life is reached when you are alive with thoughts and feelings concerning others that are freed from judgment and negative connotation of any sort. There is no basis for growth in putting others down so that you can feel good in comparison.

Let your imagination take a flight and instead of labeling yourself and others ‘good’ or ‘bad’ simply accept things as they are, because being not perfect means to be unique. Because when you open your heart and show kindness and care towards yourself and others, you start a chain reaction of good intentions and positive vibrations. This is contagious and there is no better epidemic to set alight and contaminate others with.

5) Self-Compassion Kindles a Sense of Belonging and Connectedness

V. realized that feeling himself a part of the human creation offered peace of heart and mind. Only when he openly sought refuge from a cold, calculating, and an unpoetic monetary-based world of exceeding self-esteem in a quiet harbor of open communication and sincere attachment was he able to accept himself with all his retrospective shame at the memory and prospective delight of the present.

Being rich in empathy and compassion, gifted with an ability to appreciate the beauty and richness of life, even in hard times – that colored a world for him in charming gratified desires and nurturing flourishing feelings.

Read more: The Art of Life in a Deadly Interpretation: Chroniclers of a Hospice Nurse

Self-compassion drains the cup of common experience. Knowledge that comes only when communicated; understanding, that is accepted only when discussed; emotions that felt only when shared – self-compassion makes all of it possible.

Humanity tells about nature and freedom, highest power and engaging connectedness to the world. We need to learn to listen to that valuable information. Attachment to humanity is the only way to diminish suffering.

Isolation lacks not only in social quality, but in self-worth itself. To live means to feel what others feel, to see what others show, and express what you have to share.

6) Self-Compassion Helps to Achieve Balanced Awareness

Now V. claimed to have the poetry enough in him to seek out an open heart in himself and straighten his life in a balanced, heartfelt and mindful way. He was not ignoring his past, but he was no longer exaggerating his own misconduct.

Read more: How to Free Yourself From the Restraint of Everyday Monotony: 5 Ways to Be Mentally Engaged and Never Repentant 

Self-compassion teaches you to accept the pain and explain the reasons for it. You may not get the answer right away, but it will teach you to wait patiently and admit the fact that life is painful sometimes.

Being mindful is to be flexible, but not too useful, ripe, but not too final. The process of growth and improvement should never stop, and cultivating yourself is a life-defining principle. Intuitive good nature that is in everyone flourishes under the sun of self-compassion.

Read more in my books


V. is imperfect yet magnificent as every one of us is. When he stopped an endless comparison game and embraced what he could share with others rather than what he had for himself, his self-esteem gave him joy, and his self-worth became much less easily shaken.

Read more: Patience – a Most Formidable Instrument of Human Nature: 7 Reasons to Cultivate Wise Ability to Wait

Self-compassion helps to achieve emotional well-being which strengthens the daring to life of any person. It holds your peace and helps to feel the beauty of life, even in hard times. It shuts out negative perception and opens up individuality in a person, makes one being present at the moment regardless of the degree of involvement of others around. You seem to radiate an atmosphere of power and productiveness, even facing unpleasant feedback about yourself.

There is nothing in this world more delightful than that state when you mentally balance between self-worth and acceptance of imperfections in yourself and in the world around. Being compassionate toward yourself means to be an apt student of fortune’s ways – of luck in life, because positive emotions attract uplifting feelings, delightful people, and magic metamorphoses in life and love.

Stay tuned…


  1. That’s interesting that self-compassion brought on the empathy and the pleasure centers of the brain. It is essential to be able to have compassion on one’s self because everyone fails at times. It’s how we deal with failure which defines us.

  2. As it was rightly pointed out self compassion makes us stronger and not narcissistic , becoming one’s own best friend makes you self reliant and gives you a better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses to better tackle life’s challenges .

  3. I am loving that Self-Compassion Is Marked by Benefits of Self-Esteem and I can for sure use that for myself. I do try to always think positive because I do believe in the power of the mind and thinking positive brings forth positive but I am very hard on myself and d need to learn to be happy with myself.. truly. Thank you!

  4. I like the reasons for the importance of self-compassion. In order to be our best, we must be mentally balanced and self-compassion helps with that as you noted! Thanks for giving me something to think about!

  5. I agree on the importance of self-compassion. I believe that if we can be compassionate with ourselves then we will be able to be more compassionate with others.

  6. So good to know that there are so many health benefits of practicing self-compassion. It’s a good way to lead a contented and happy life. This post is a feel-good read. Thanks for this

  7. I feel that it is very important to love yourself and to treat yourself with respect. otherwise, it is hard to expect others to treat you with respect. We are often are own worst critic, judging ourselves far more harshly than we would others.

  8. I have never even thought about having self-compassion before, or what it means to have that. I enjoyed this read and need to consider having some self-compassion more.

  9. This is such a beautiful article and self-love and self-kindness are so important because for me you can’t love and can’t be kind to others without loving and being kind with your own self.

  10. I have always practised kindness. But self-kindness is a new concept for me. Oh yes, I believe in self love but even then there are times when I am harsh on myself. I don’t do the same to myself that I do to others. Now when I think of it, yes, self compassion can completely boost a person’s self esteem. Thanks for sharing this!

  11. Nice blog..! You have so many great points here. Good thing I’m full of self compassion and I enjoyed this blog a lot.

  12. Thank you so much for sharing this. I tend to be hard on myself and don’t show a lot of kindness to myself.It is great to be reminded why it is so important.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.