4 Ways to Protect Yourself From Backbiting and Gossiping


Spend precious moments stubbornly biting your lips, speaking sternly, and acting openly…


D. is above the average in height of his statue and in the firmness of his mind. A man of fixed principles and strong habits, he is intolerant of people whose words are cheaper than deeds.

He was not like that in the early days of his youth. One incident, that almost ruined his happiness, forever imprinted in his heart an aversion to people deprived of true nobility of soul. Finding himself deceived, duped, and hopeless he learned to avoid provokingly mindless, heartless, and artificial specimens of humankind.

A terrible bore as he is, I love him dearly. D. is a grandpa of my best friend and a grand-mentor of my humble life. He always eyes me to silence and starts preaching with so much eloquence and depth of thought that I cannot help plunging over head and ears into every discourse.

Read more: Don’t Be Constantly Pained by Destructive Hatred: 7 Reasons to Practice Hate-Diminishing Techniques

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1) Why It Is Time to Let It Go

D., when a sensible, handsome man of two and twenty, bore his young glory gracefully. His love was a smart, pretty girl of nineteen with merry grey eyes and lofty intelligent forehead. Anyone, seeing these two together, would say in their hearts either ‘Bless you’ or ‘Curse you’. Their love was a contagiously happy picture for kind souls and a provokingly showy – for jealous ones.

His chosen one was very engaging little creature, decidedly blooming girl, although rather charming than pretty. Her eyes were full of poetry and feeling. She was a little woman, seeing with her heart rather than her head. And her faithful heart was forever given to the genuine and generous D.

D. believed in dignity and depth of her soul. But the tempest of doubt and dread, of jealousy and rage almost distracted him, almost ruined their happiness. A slough scandal was spread through the whole village and finally found its way to D.’s ears. Some shallow minds believed it right away. It became a chief delight for them as these kinds of people could not hold any great ideas and were easily carried away by trivialities.

D. stopped any intercourse with the poisoned humanity, the ones that readily accepted the circulating vile slander. He did his utmost to protect his little lady from learning anything about it. He himself got to the root of it only by hints and innuendoes as no one dared to speak openly with him.

Read more: Rejoice in Positive Solitude and Administer Over Distractive Loneliness: 6 Kinds of Loneliness and 3 Ways to Confront It

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People tend to talk. We may like it or not – but they talk about us. It may aggravate you, but I would encourage you to relieve your mind and life from that influence. Take no notice of judgments that come from people that do not bring value to your life. Whatever they think should be considered a slight thing. It by no means should disturb the equanimity of your mind or had any injurious effect upon your appetite.

Consider any offensive or simply silly statement coming out from some narrow minds as a source that facilitates your operations in improving your life, and as a motivational tool that makes you move on with your plans and ideas. Do not take any slander close to your heart and do not let anyone sly and jealous close to your life.

By the way, it is better to be talked about anyways. That means people find your life amusing, interesting, and for sure a better topic to discuss than whatever their own existence presents. So, let them do what they please and continue to live as YOU please.

2) Why It Is Normal to Rip up the Ties

Each time D. looked through the eyes of his chosen one and right into her heart, he saw more of the height and depth of her soul than words could speak. No wonder his spirits rose almost to madness when he discovered that his best friend was an instigator of the dreadful story of his girl being unfaithful to their love. D. didn’t believe that she could swear love to someone else. Never till that moment had he known the full fervor of his love, the full strength of it. Nothing could crush his faith in their shared future.

The story was a lame one. Only once D. had a notion of being chained to a couch of thorns. The first night after discovering the slander, a paroxysm of anger disquieted his breathing and he bitterly reproached himself for this moment of weakness. His friend, a worthless reprobate, an impracticable fool, gave food to envenomed tongues and they started to talk about D.’s noble girl as if she was a little frivolous kitten going around and gifting her love to insipid individuals.

D. cut all ties with that false friendship. Forgot the way to his house. Wiped him off his heart and soul. He brushed the dirt of this acquaintance from his memory. He knew too well to keep such people at a great distance from his life.

Read more: Worry & Anxiety – the Instruments of Our Own Destruction: 6 Ways to Push Them out of Your Life

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A true friend will cry and laugh with you, not at you. The one that gives you handsome compliments in your face and talks about you with much malicious philosophy behind your back is not a friend. It is obvious. The union of friendship is a blissful gift, and when crisis finds you – true feeling stands strong against any calamity.

Rejoice when you find out about some false attachment. Let this person go as far from your life as possible and wish him good-speed. This is a natural life improving, beautifying process. You multiply positivity but getting rid of negativity.

3) Why, or Rather When the Opinion of Others Matters

D.’s heart rejoiced when his parents and his elder sister took his side in this insinuated story. Their opinion happily coincided with his own on this matter. He felt strong support and stoic faith from them. D. believed that their love and calm confidence had more effect in working his spirits up than any other factor could do.

D.’s family showed him a true value of their relationship. People that sincerely wished him to be happy took pains to consider everything thoroughly. They recollected what they personally felt and knew about D.’s future wife and found not even one reason to surrender to the falsehood circulating in the village.

Read more: Gratitude Makes Us Absolutely and Fearlessly Alive: 6 Admirable Ways to Be Joyously Tranquil

We all have a heart, and close loving people teach it to beat. They stay with you when you are in the wrong. Relationships, proved by long time and hard trials, gain strength and depth. They will listen to you and fight your enemies by your side.

It is true that during the course of our life we tend to lose people. Remember, though, that the ones that stay – worth hundreds of those that had left. And when you listen to those precious few, you know that whatever they say comes from honest hearts. You may follow the advice they give or adopt your own way, it would never change the sincerity of your attachment.

4) Why Take the Reins in Your Hands

This occurrence served as a great lesson in D.’s life. His so-called friend, being a jealous and wicked person, tried to ruin D’s happiness. He did his utmost to bring about a fatal collapse to the true love between two faithful hearts. But every destructive effort he made was opposed by good pure feeling. D. learned that only words attached to noble deeds could purchase his affection and esteem. He always acted in accordance with his personal will and judgment and he continued to do so till his old age.

Read more: Wave Negativity Away and Welcome a Happy Family Spirit into Your Life: 4 Trusty Guides to the Successful Union

Your intelligence is in your deeds. It stamps your life with milestones you’ve accomplished. When you make decisions according to your own judgment, you can proudly say that you are the one to be thankful for the success. And when the failure comes your way, be brave enough to take the responsibility and admit your mistakes. There should be no one to blame if you listened to yourself.

Engage yourself busily in listening to dear people in your life. Their advice is precious. Consider it thoroughly, but always act upon your own chain of logic and good-natured feeling.

Read more in my books


Let your life be a pleasant experience, awakened by grand people. The mention of any piece of news that concerns you should be heart-felt when coming from a loving soul, and easily forgotten when coming from a distant and unimportant relation. Loveliness and virtue of true friendship will watch over you in good and bad. At length, by degrees life cleans itself from any false attachment, and those should be released with ease and satisfaction.

Thrive and prosper under the united care of your intuitive mind and soul. Listen attentively to what you feel and act accordingly.

Stay tuned…


  1. Great advise. It’s important to consider who the comments are coming from. We need to think differently about a comment depending If it comes from a loving soul or when it comes form a distant relationship.

  2. I am loving this insightful post. Lots of great tips for handing relationships and we can all use that sometimes 🙂

  3. I try to just stay away from gossipers and rumor starters…. I figured that out as a kid and have heeded it ever since. Helps me to keep toxic”ness” out of my life as there i o time for it. I always enjoy your articles and I always feel calm when visiting your site so thank you 🙂

  4. We just need to focus on what we do and stop thinking of how others see us. How other perceive us and think of us has got nothing to do with us and not that something we can control.

  5. I think this is lesson that is learned with age. You tend to care less and less about what others are saying and thinking the more you become comfortable with yourself. And that really only comes with age.

  6. I think it’s important that we learn how to handle rumors. I love that conclusion, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Can’t tell you how much I appreciate this post and I hope more people get the chance to read this.

  7. Ahh I can’t believe stuff like this still goes on among adults but I guess we shouldn’t be surprised! I think it’s most important to be comfortable with yourself and not be afraid to cut ties like you said.

  8. I have spent most of my life being tormented by other people’s thoughts, talk and gossips but the secret is to ignore and move on.

  9. Gossip has always made my life complex, talking to me so much behind the schools it took me some time to stop seeing or imagining the whole world plotting against me. But doing it means coming back to life. The only words we need to hear are those that start with us, those that make us better and stronger every day.

  10. It can be hard to separate the words from real friends and fake friends at times. But it’s so important to learn the difference. I have made some amazing friends this past year and lean on them when needed. It’s great to have those you know you can trust, for the good and bad!

  11. Boy oh boy do I wish I could do this more often. Too many times I let the opinions of nonimportant people ruin my day. I do have to do better and learn to quickly not to pay attention to them because they certainly are only out to hurt me, not help me.

  12. I love this so much! Staying clear of toxic people is so important to our me tsk health, and this spells out a pretty solid roadmap for doing just that.

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